As
you may know, I spend an obscene amount of time lurking on Twitter and have
been lucky enough to meet some wonderful people on there and make friends in
far flung places. They have welcomed me into their conversations and I
now feel like I am part of the FOB fandom. We are a happy and friendly
group of people who care about each other and just love talking about FOB.
It's great.
But
this week we saw what I can only call the rudest tweet ever written being
directed at one of our hero's, Patrick Stump. It questioned his loyalty to his
fans and basically belittled him into ignoring the fact that he was tired after
travelling and leaving his hotel room to go outside and see some so called
'fans'. No biggie you'd think, but this wasn't a pre-arranged meet and greet.
No, these people had stalked the band to their hotel and decided to wait
outside in the hope of seeing them and when this didn't happen, one of them
tweeted that he was letting them down by ignoring them. It made him feel
so bad (as he is a sensitive little thing) that he relented and went down to
see them. This act filled a great many of us with anger as we felt that
ignorance and rudeness should not be rewarded with kindness.
The tweet in question has since been deleted from the persons profile it would seem (although I have found it and thought I'd share it below). Thing is, the band don't actually owe us anything. The fact that they do take the time to meet fans and answer so many tweets on Twitter is amazing in itself, but this display of rudeness was a step too far. The person responsible then had the cheek to whine that people were being mean to her! It made me so mad that I ended up insulting a tree, but that's another story....
The tweet in question has since been deleted from the persons profile it would seem (although I have found it and thought I'd share it below). Thing is, the band don't actually owe us anything. The fact that they do take the time to meet fans and answer so many tweets on Twitter is amazing in itself, but this display of rudeness was a step too far. The person responsible then had the cheek to whine that people were being mean to her! It made me so mad that I ended up insulting a tree, but that's another story....
Anyway,
following on from this 'episode', it made me think about what being a music fan
actually means. The person in question is clearly not a fan as you would never in a million years behave
in such a manner, especially to your idol. So I asked my fellow Twitter
friends what being a fan it means to them.
Here is my friend Michelle's take on what being a fan means to her:
Here is my friend Michelle's take on what being a fan means to her:
"I'm well over 30, and still what many would call a "fangirl". I listen to my favorite bands (mainly Fall Out Boy & Patrick Stump) over and over again, watch hours of interview footage repeatedly, and read their websites, Facebooks, and Twitters in order to get a feel of the type of people they are and the things that make them tick and inspire them. I can hardly have a conversation without one of my favorite bands or band members coming up, because they really are that inspirational to me and ingrained in my psyche.
That said, they are human beings with their own lives and the right to live them, and I respect that deeply. I don't cry and beg for my favorite performers to be on Twitter any more than they themselves would like to, and I don't cry and beg for product from them (new songs, albums, videos, etc.).
Quite frankly, I'm just overwhelmingly grateful that they exist and are doing what they do at all, not to mention the fact that they would take down the fourth wall and let fans in the way they do now. I can remember when there was no way to contact your favorite celebrity--they were completely elevated away from us unwashed masses. You might have been able to send a letter a PO Box in Modesto that might have been cleaned out once a month by a flunky to a secretary to a handler, and said flunky might spend the postage to send you back a generic typed reply, or (s)he might toss it in the garbage, for all you knew. There was no internet, no Twitter, no Instagram, and certainly no direct replies or reciprocated support or gratitude from your heroes the way there is now.
Again, though, they are still human beings. They are not "perf(ect)", they are not ours, they are not commodities or things, and really, neither is their art. Their craft, their lives, and their persons are THEIRS; they simply CHOOSE to share it with us, and we really ought to be OK with that being on THEIR terms, not ours. Do be grateful. Do be happy. Do be supportive, positive, and kind. DO BE RESPECTFUL OF THEIR OPINIONS, THEIR PERSONAL SPACE, THEIR WISHES, AND THEIR COMFORT LEVELS. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to treat these PEOPLE--that's right, PEOPLE--like they were your property or like they owe you anything. They don't. They've already given us more than we could ever ask or hope for, just by being themselves and doing what they do. Respect that." Michelle @littlehotmess77
And this is Ashley's thoughts on it:
"Being a fan to me means having respect for personal space and remembering that bands don't owe us anything. They don't have to come out and meet fans, they choose to out of the kindness of their hearts and it sickens me when fans guilt bands or band members to come out and meet them. Fans pay to see the show that's it. Getting to meet your idol is just a bonus. If you're lucky enough for that to happen and remembering that bands are busy and can't always reply to every single person that tweets them, but they'll certainly try their best so all in all the biggest thing is showing respect for boundaries and personal space." Ashley @ashleyriot
Especially when attending a concert and having a shared experience that only the other people who were there too will have is amazing. Like a secret that only you and the band know about, it's mine and no-one elses cos I was there. You can buy all the albums, the merch, attend all the gigs you want, but if you're just doing it because you think it's what you should be doing, then you're not really a fan. You should believe in the people you are listening to and they should mean more to you than just being there for your own disposal.
They are not ours to dictate to and we shouldn't expect them to be at our beck and call. Respect pays a big part and we should also respect the views of each other. What I don't respect is that there are some people, like the person on Twitter, who think they are better than everyone else and who must get what they want. Do you not think that we would all like a little bit of their time, or a reply to our tweet? Of course we would, but some of us are polite enough to wait our turn. And when it happens for our friends, we are pleased for them as we know how long they have waited for this moment. I am not pleased, however, when I see a 'selfie' that has only been obtained by harassing someone into taking part in it because you made them feel like they owed it to you. Nice picture, dumbo.
But, I can pretty much say this incident is a one off and I think the reason it made us so annoyed is because we are not like that. The people I have met and speak to regularly are a lovely group of individuals who are kind and supportive to each other. We genuinely want to know how each others days are going or like nothing better than to cheer each other up by sending pictures. And most of all we love the music that unites us and the people that make it. There are hi-fives and hugs in the fandom and if you come and speak to Michelle, me or any of our Twitter friends then we'll tell you about it!
That said, they are human beings with their own lives and the right to live them, and I respect that deeply. I don't cry and beg for my favorite performers to be on Twitter any more than they themselves would like to, and I don't cry and beg for product from them (new songs, albums, videos, etc.).
Quite frankly, I'm just overwhelmingly grateful that they exist and are doing what they do at all, not to mention the fact that they would take down the fourth wall and let fans in the way they do now. I can remember when there was no way to contact your favorite celebrity--they were completely elevated away from us unwashed masses. You might have been able to send a letter a PO Box in Modesto that might have been cleaned out once a month by a flunky to a secretary to a handler, and said flunky might spend the postage to send you back a generic typed reply, or (s)he might toss it in the garbage, for all you knew. There was no internet, no Twitter, no Instagram, and certainly no direct replies or reciprocated support or gratitude from your heroes the way there is now.
Again, though, they are still human beings. They are not "perf(ect)", they are not ours, they are not commodities or things, and really, neither is their art. Their craft, their lives, and their persons are THEIRS; they simply CHOOSE to share it with us, and we really ought to be OK with that being on THEIR terms, not ours. Do be grateful. Do be happy. Do be supportive, positive, and kind. DO BE RESPECTFUL OF THEIR OPINIONS, THEIR PERSONAL SPACE, THEIR WISHES, AND THEIR COMFORT LEVELS. Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to treat these PEOPLE--that's right, PEOPLE--like they were your property or like they owe you anything. They don't. They've already given us more than we could ever ask or hope for, just by being themselves and doing what they do. Respect that." Michelle @littlehotmess77
And this is Ashley's thoughts on it:
"Being a fan to me means having respect for personal space and remembering that bands don't owe us anything. They don't have to come out and meet fans, they choose to out of the kindness of their hearts and it sickens me when fans guilt bands or band members to come out and meet them. Fans pay to see the show that's it. Getting to meet your idol is just a bonus. If you're lucky enough for that to happen and remembering that bands are busy and can't always reply to every single person that tweets them, but they'll certainly try their best so all in all the biggest thing is showing respect for boundaries and personal space." Ashley @ashleyriot
So what do you think it means to be a fan? I guess it can means different things to different people. For me, it's about being part of something and supporting the person/s that make me feel happy. Music for me is a way of life and without it, I don't know what I'd do. It's more than just a distraction in the background, it's finding something that moves me and makes me think and feel a variety of emotions.
Especially when attending a concert and having a shared experience that only the other people who were there too will have is amazing. Like a secret that only you and the band know about, it's mine and no-one elses cos I was there. You can buy all the albums, the merch, attend all the gigs you want, but if you're just doing it because you think it's what you should be doing, then you're not really a fan. You should believe in the people you are listening to and they should mean more to you than just being there for your own disposal.
They are not ours to dictate to and we shouldn't expect them to be at our beck and call. Respect pays a big part and we should also respect the views of each other. What I don't respect is that there are some people, like the person on Twitter, who think they are better than everyone else and who must get what they want. Do you not think that we would all like a little bit of their time, or a reply to our tweet? Of course we would, but some of us are polite enough to wait our turn. And when it happens for our friends, we are pleased for them as we know how long they have waited for this moment. I am not pleased, however, when I see a 'selfie' that has only been obtained by harassing someone into taking part in it because you made them feel like they owed it to you. Nice picture, dumbo.
But, I can pretty much say this incident is a one off and I think the reason it made us so annoyed is because we are not like that. The people I have met and speak to regularly are a lovely group of individuals who are kind and supportive to each other. We genuinely want to know how each others days are going or like nothing better than to cheer each other up by sending pictures. And most of all we love the music that unites us and the people that make it. There are hi-fives and hugs in the fandom and if you come and speak to Michelle, me or any of our Twitter friends then we'll tell you about it!
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| The tweet in question - the names have been deleted to protect the idiots... |
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